With politics and election mania running high in the US lately, I've been walking around all week with a pin on my shirt/jacket that says "Vote for Mickey". No one seem to mind that, and some even said they would vote for Mickey if they could (I'm sure they're joking).
However, all this has led me to think what would it be like if Mickey were the President of the United States? :)
1. Of course, Minnie Mouse would be the First Lady (or do we call her First Rodent?).
2. He already has a loyal dog in Pluto, so that takes care of the official pet, which every US president seems to have one lately.
3. The Owl from Winnie the Pooh is the Chief of Staff. You need someone that wise and level-headed to head a cast of characters.
4. Donald Duck is the secretary of defense. Now c'mon, admit it. With a hot head like that heading your military, tell me that some nutjob anywhere would dare to try anything stupid.
5. Scrooge McDuck is your Treasury Secretary. No explanation needed here.
6. Agriculture Secretary would definitely be Pooh's friend Rabbit. Just look at those carrots!
7. Buzz Lightyear is the NASA Administrator. Again, no explanation needed here. He will officially move all space launches to the many Space Mountains and Mission Space facilities.
8. Instead of tax rebates, everyone in the country would be given 150 DVC points.
9. Everyone living in the country would be forced to buy the Disney Dining Plan. However, more healthy choices will be available for table service, counter service, and snacks. All trans fat will be banned.
10. Instead of passports and state ID/Drivers license, you are given annual passes to get back into the US and a biometric finger scan to verify your identity.
11. It goes without saying that the whole country will be spic and span, with garbage cans every few feet in the cities. Each major cities will have a fireworks display at the end of each evening, and a parade at exactly 3:00 pm each afternoon.
12. Every city, state, and federal employees will wish you a Magical Day after providing a service.
13. Buttons for birthdays, anniversaries, Just Married, etc. can be picked up for free from each city hall.
14. Every mayor is expected to be able to sing and dance.
15. Anyone convicted of a crime will be forced to sit through multiple rides of "It's A Small World". The number of rides will depend on the severity of the crime. Repeat offender will be dunked into the well at the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction until he/she promises to never do it again.
16. Amtrack will be replaced with Big Thunder Mountain Railroad company. All public rail transportation will be monorails and all buses will be Disney Transportation buses. The only exception will be transportation in Los Angeles, where the only means of transportation will be the Rock 'N Rollercoaster.
17. All building are required to have only a front facade. All the sides that are not visible to the public need not be finished. This will save a tremendous amount of money on construction costs.
18. False perspective are actively encouraged.
19. Elevators become faster by just simply letting them drop on the way down. Proper restraining mechanism are installed in all elevators, of course.
20. No more Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Caribou Coffee, etc. All coffee will be by Nestle. You will drink it, and you will like it!
21. All movies being made in the US must pass through the quality control of John Lesseter.
22. Mr. Incredible heads the CIA, the FBI, the Secret Service, the National Security Council, etc... etc.
23. Goofy is the US Ambassador to the United Nations ...... WHAT? This is a perfect choice! I'd pay money to see Iran and North Korea try to deal with him!
24. All Canadian citizens are given seasonal passes to visit Florida.
25. Turkey legs become the traditional dish at Thanksgiving.
26. The White House is replaced by Cinderella Castle.
27. The Hat at Disney's Hollywood Studios officially becomes one of the country's monument.
28. Epcot's Futureworld becomes the newest US National Laboratory, joining the existing US labs such as Argonne, Brookhaven, Los Alamos, Oak Ridge, Livermore, and Berkeley. The main research activity will be on Fun With Science.
29. All countries having diplomatic ties with the US must have a pavilion at Epcot, which has been expanded into the size of New Jersey.
30. Expect your bags to be searched as you enter various places all over the country.
31. Just like the mayors, all kids entering high school must know how to sing and dance, since such activities may break out spontaneously.
32. Wearing Mickey Ears hat is required on national holidays.
33. The US Congress is replaced with the Imagineers.
34. There are hidden Mickeys all over the place.
35. The prices for all bottled water will be raised by 200%.
36. Several animatronic Yeti are installed on the Himalayas.
37. A carving of Mickey's face will be added to Mount Rushmore.
38. During Christmas season, all houses and buildings must be fully lighted and decorated, and must be synchronized to the music of the Osborne Spectacle of Dancing Lights.
39. The US dollars has been abolished. Only Disney Dollars are now accepted. You may also choose to be paid with Disney Pins, which is also a valid US currency.
40. Everyone must be happy. It's the Law!
Zz.
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